I could be in pictures…

So, if you despise bathroom talk, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER!!!  For memories with my children, I had to blog about our evening last night. 

Brad was at a work golf tournament and was not going to be home until around 8:30 pm so around 5:00 pm I got a spontaneous idea and asked my in-laws if they would like to have dinner.  To my delight, they said “yes” and the children and I quickly headed out to meet them at the I-45 and Airtex Cracker Barrel.  We needed to be there by 6:30 pm and it was already 5:45 pm.  I live at least 30 minutes from the restaurant (not in traffic), so we had to book it!!!  Allison showed up ready to go in blue cotton shorts with shells all over them, a purple Jasmine t-shirt, feather boa, Aerial princess crown and to top it off, pink high heels.  I said to heck with it, it’s just Cracker Barrel, right? 

Surprisingly, we actually made it to the restaurant on time (beating my father-in-law who is NEVER late).  I am always late, so I was quite excited.  We sat down to what I thought would be an enjoyable meal with my in-laws, of course this was short-lived.  Within minutes of being at the restaurant Will started to fuss and squirm in the highchair.  I tried feeding him rolls and giving him a drink but after a little bit, these things no longer worked.  He started to scream and I could tell he had reached his limit and was extremely tired.  Unfortunately, we had not even received our meals so I was a little unsure as to what I should do. 

Well, we passed Will around from my sister-in-law, Hilary, to my mother-in-law, Pam.  Meanwhile, Allison had to go to the bathroom and was loudly clopping along when she slipped and fell.  Thankfully, she was ok but I felt like I had two whirling tornadoes going on and I was caught in the middle.

The dirty looks came shortly as Will became harder and harder to deal with.  Eventually, my father-in-law finished his meal and waltzed Will outside to the rocking chairs and checker boards. 

As we said our good-bye’s, I apologized to my mother-in-law who came back with a hilarious remark, she said “ that ok, I just feel like I have been on a tilt-a-whirl!”

I envisioned a quiet ride home with my babies fast asleep.  As it turned out, neither fell asleep and by the time we got to the Beltway and Clay Rd., Allison started telling me that she needed to go potty  I told her to hold it but she kept asking and by the time we reached Kirkwood, I thought she may just go in the car.  I quickly pulled over to the Embassy Suites hotel off I-10 thinking this would be a rather safe place.  Just so you know, we keep a potty in the back of the car for these kind of emergencies.  I took Allison out of her car seat barefoot, opened up the back of my car and sat her down.  Then, I waited, and waited and waited some more.  Finally, after about 10 minutes I asked Allison if she was done.  She shook her head “No” and don’t cringe, but I made the decision to leave her in the back, on the potty and drive the 2 miles home.  As we drove Allison, said things like “Mommy, look at all the lights”, “Mommy your beating that truck in the race”, and “Whoa Mommy, that was a big bump”.

As I drove, I was reminded of Steve Martin in the movie Parenthood when he searches through garbage cans from a place like Chuck-E-Cheese for his son Kevin’s retainer.

The things we do as parents.  When we got home, the poor girl was still not done.  I sat out there with her while Brad took Will on into house.  Part of me thought she was enjoying the attention and the other part of me thought she really needed to go #2.  Finally, she was done and informed me that she was sick and had diarrhea (thankfully, she did not).  As I cleaned out the potty, I thought “only for my children would I do this”.  I know this is a pretty gross story but definitely one I never want to forget.  In these moments, all I can do is laugh and see the humor in the situation.  I mean, two children under 4 years of age do some pretty hilarious things.  I often feel my life could be a movie.

To top off the night, when Brad and I were bathing the kids I noticed that Abby had something red (which looked like blood) on her coat.  We soon realized it was only strawberry jelly from lunch.  Obviously, Will had let a glob fall from the highchair onto the floor.  Life just doesn’t get any better or for that matter, real.  I know I will one day miss days like this.